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 Defining Success for yourself
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Last week, I had a long heart-to-heart chat with a friend of mine who telephoned from New York. I’ll call her Carol, although that’s not her real name. She was not feeling altogether well about herself and was looking for someone to help her mull things over.
A lot of people would be surprised to hear that Carol isn’t very happy. After all, on the surface, her life looks to be quite fabulous. She comes from a wealthy family and attended the best schools, she has a great-paying job and a beautiful apartment in mid-town Manhattan. She loves to go out and do the town, and has enough spending cash that she never feels like she has to skimp or save. Her job is fairly simple and she has lots of time to do what she wants. She’s living in one of the most exciting cities in the world and she seems to enjoy herself.
But Carol feels unfulfilled. She’s not alone. Altogether too many talented and capable people in our culture feel largely unhappy because they are not doing what truly inspires them in life. They are not chasing after their dreams, as it were, and consequently, they feel empty, regardless of the money and luxuries we have at our disposal.
Many of us buy into the myth that success is only about money. We see people with material wealth and things that others envy, and we assume that this sort of wealth, alone, defines success. But don’t be fooled by what you see on the surface. Even wealthy people can be stuck in at a job that does not interest them, and they can feel like they are wasting away. There are literally thousands of intelligent, hardworking individuals in the work force languishing in meaningless jobs, harbouring secret fears that they might be fired at any time, lest it be discovered just how unhappy they actually are in their current position. Like anyone else, they fear unemployment and the unknown, so they stick it out at jobs they don’t care about. In this light, such people, of the sudden, don’t look so successful.
There comes a time in every professional’s life where they need to take account, not just of their money, but of what they want in life. Real success comes when we look hard at our selves and come to know what truly matter to us. Make no mistake. This is not an easy thing to do. They don’t teach you to look deep into yourself in college or at Harvard business school. In fact, most of these places of so-called, “higher learning” just teach you how to be a good worker bee, helping you to fit into the work force, never teaching you how to make your job work for you, so that you can be completely fulfilled. That is the sort of learning that you will have to do on your own.
Most articles about “personal success” are written by and for people who are predominately interested in financial success. This, of course, is fine. But, when you come right down to it, true personal success is not about money. It is a matter of personal passion. If you positively want to make your dreams a reality, you will end up walking the same path of self-sacrifice and self-discovery of all other truly determined people, whether your dream is to be a billionaire or if you want to save the whales. While on that journey, you will discover what true success means. You will find joy and meaning in the process, and you will find the desire to look deep into yourself and truly know who you are and what you stand for. Your journey towards success is a bit like a spiritual quest, and, as such, it will effect every aspect of your life, and not just your bank account.
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