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 Empty Dreams Enlightened Dreams
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Some years ago I was involved in a brutal car accident where a drunk driver crushed me nearly to death. It was probably the definitive moment of my life. Everything that I do now stems back from the lessons I learned during that ordeal and throughout my years in recovery. I often say to people that the accident nearly killed me, and then it saved my life.
Since then, I have met other men and women who have gone through similar experiences. They have all survived catastrophes, coming out the other side with great insight and, often, a newfound inner peace. I remember meeting a journalist whose arm was shattered in a horrible accident. During his recovery, he became utterly serene and was a changed man. I remember him describing the first Canadian autumn he experienced while his arm was in pins and a cast. He told me he was amazed at all the loveliness that he had all along been missing.
Am I suggesting that we all need to be involved in some painful or near-death experience to have insight on beauty and meaning in life? Hardly. But there are some interesting patterns to be observed in those who have found themselves under such unfortunate circumstances. For one thing, their lives both before and after their accidents are often remarkably similar, and, although each might explain their insights in different ways, all of them have made an extreme “about-face” in terms of their own personal goals, and their basic value system.
I can say confidently that my life was absolutely typical of this type of survivor. Before the accident I was the classic workaholic. I was averaging 80 hours a week at work, and living on junk food, as I never took time to eat right. I largely fueled my body through my addictions. I drank about 14 cups of coffee and smoked about 2 packs of cigarettes a day. For recreation, I drank heavily. For the most part, I had no life. I even stopped dating. Nothing seemed to matter to me except making money and “succeeding” in my career. My entire consciousness was focused exclusively on my desire for personal success. I was arrogant, opinionated, irritable and quite sure that anyone who didn’t think and act like me was a fool. Looking back, I would also have to say that I was also miserable most of the time. I was a lost soul, without any real purpose except gratifying my greed for prestige and wealth. I was on my way to killing myself for the sake of money.
Then came the accident. And, for the first time in my life, I was looking death square in the face. Trust me: in that instant, all of your desires, for money, for power, for revenge, for sexual conquest, really don’t seem to be the least bit important. In fact, they look a little silly. They are, without a doubt, the stuff of empty dreams.
But you don’t have to look at people like me to see the hollow failure of empty dreams. Consider the shattered lives of many celebrities who appear to lash out at the world like angry children. They run amok, desperately trying to squeeze some real value out of the empty dream that is Fame and Fortune. They are the angry, unhappy rock stars and the excessive Hollywood notables who make millions. They are the pro athletes who abuse their power and reject the idea of being a role model. They have all the trapping of success, including money, power, sex and the freedom to do anything they want. And yet contentedness escapes their grasp.
So what is the lesson in all of this? What do we learn by watching people scramble to find joy in empty dreams, only to remain unhappy? The most significant thing that the accident taught me, and indeed what many of my fellow survivors have learned, is that true happiness comes from within. It cannot be purchased, negotiated, bartered or placed before you on a silver platter. In a nutshell, the key to happiness is inside of you. To look for happiness outside of your self is to hope for the impossible.
The great irony is that success will come to you when you stop expecting it to solve all your personal problems or satisfy all of your insatiable desires. What’s more, you may discover that your dreams might become more profound, and will include not only your own happiness, but also the well-being of those you love, or perhaps even the whole of the human race.
As your dreams develop depth, you become a better-rounded person, and take on the qualities of someone who can find great happiness in just experiencing an autumn day. You will also discover new strengths and abilities you never knew you had, and new determination to see your dreams become reality. This is called a sense of purpose, and with it comes a great sense of fulfillment, both personally and professionally.
To look deeply into yourself; is to look beyond empty dreams. Embrace the true happiness that awaits you and is rightfully yours to know and experience! This is the greatest success that a person can know.
Michael McGauley- The Dream Builder
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