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 Face It
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My friend Jim has a sign over his desk that says FACE IT in bold type. I never really understood why it was there, or what it meant. When I finally asked him, he shot me one of his cagey smiles and said, “What do you think?”
I confessed that I had no idea.
He said,
“You know: Face it. Look at it. Take a stab at it.
I asked, “But, what is ‘it,’ Jim?”
Again with the smile. “Fear,” he said. “Face your fear.”
The more I thought about it, the more is struck me as brilliant. What a perfect place for such a sign! Most of the fears we must confront are waiting for us right at home, or at our desk, in front of the computer. Specifically, I’m speaking about the fears that make us doubt ourselves, and doubt our dreams. Even those who have faced life-and-death situations out in the wilderness or on the mean streets can be haunted by fears of inadequacy and uncertainty. After that visit with Jim I went home and fashioned a FACE IT sign and hung it on the bulletin board above my monitor.
We all know that facing fear is the only way to properly deal with it. Can you remember a moment in your life when you finally faced up to some nagging fear, only to discover that it really wasn’t all that bad after all? Sometimes our fears seem silly in retrospect, and often it feels exhilarating to have faced it and survived.
Unfortunately, despite what we know, most of the time we merely indulge our fears. We make them bigger and more powerful by cowering from them. People will tell you that fear is a natural thing, and they are right. There is nothing wrong with being afraid. Jim’s sign doesn’t say IGNORE IT or SHAME ON YOU FOR HAVING IT. Jim’s sign councils you to face your fear. Face it as a natural part of life. Face it as the thing that keeps animals and certain people from doing really stupid things. The larger message in Jim’s sign is that Fear need not be your master. Instead, you can master fear.
In fact, the mastery of fear is not only the best thing we can do for ourselves, it is also one of the greatest gifts we can leave behind for the rest of the planet. Unchecked fear is dangerous to you and your whole community. It will lead to the extinction of our nation, the Human race and perhaps even the planet that gives us life. Our fear leads us to war and kills thousands of innocent people every year. Fear drives our economy into the ground. It causes mass hysteria, riots, and cultural misunderstandings.
Science tells us that organisms naturally respond to fear and pain either through confrontation or retreat. This is commonly referred to as the “Fight or Flight” principle. As humans, we often have a choice as to which of these two options we can adopt to address a certain fearful situation. For example, someone who has been burned is likely to be afraid of an open flame. But that same flame, when managed carefully and properly, can be a source of warmth, power and wealth. So the best option for that person would be to remain aware of the dangers of fire, but still confront the flame in a reasonable and positive way. (Confrontation need not always be violent.) The question is, how do you know when you are making the right decision about your fear? The answer is simple. Ask yourself, “how much is this fear costing me?”
In other words, what am I giving up by not facing this fear? What hopes and dreams have been abandoned because of it? What am I sacrificing to keep this fear unchecked? With some thought, you may be surprised at just how expensive your fear really is. It is preventing you from achieving real peace of mind and discovering your true potential.
Most people tolerate their unchecked fears. They make jokes about them, or deny that they exist at all. This denial motivates them to create routines in their everyday lives that provide comfort and give them a place to hide away from fear. This comfortable routine of casual avoidance is what many people call “the Comfort Zone.” When we are in the Comfort Zone our lives are predictable and boring. We play small, far below our true potential. Unfortunately, the Comfort Zone is misleading. It never really offers any true, lasting satisfaction – no actual comfort! Our fears are still out there, looming large in the back of our minds, still in control and still dictating to us how to live and to kill off our dreams.
When people come to me looking for a strategy to become more successful, I always start them out by telling them to get out of the Comfort Zone and face the fears that are holding them back. I honestly believe that God gave us dreams for a reason, and that God gave us inner strength and power to make our dreams come true. But when we give in to fear, we relinquish control of our lives. In the most profound sense, to FACE IT, means to be in control of your own destiny.
If you decide to take Jim’s advice and FACE IT, you will find yourself on the “road less traveled,” as Robert Frost so ably phrased it. You will find that giving into fear is what most others do, and facing fear is what will separate you from the flock. It will give you power that others only fantasize about. The choice is yours. You can follow the fearful herd, or you can explore your own greatness. What will it be?
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