Tools For Making The Paradigm Shift

When I am coaching people in recovery, I see my job as being very straightforward.  I am here to help my clients understand and realize their own potential. 

Many of them are focussed on the circumstances in their life that they cannot change.  I work with them to help them see that, in life, its not what happens to you that makes it worthwhile, it is what you do about it.   I see my clients as rich in undiscovered potential.  It is really up to them to take on the training that will help them discover this for themselves.  

As I mentioned in the previous essay, making the paradigm shift takes work.  Here are a few exercises that I give my clients to help them along.

Create a self-enhancing mantra

A mantra is a statement that you make to yourself.  It can be a few sentences long, or just a single phrase.  The word Mantra actually comes from Hinduism, where believers will often repeat, over and over again, a sacred phrase of some kind, or even just a single syllable, believing that the mantra itself has mystical power.  In our case, the so-called “mystical power” comes from making an imprint in your sub-conscious mind that can help to over-ride an old paradigm that is standing in the way of realising your potential.  A mantra that I often give my clients, as it was given to me, is the one I used in my own recovery, which goes like this:

“I am whole, perfect strong, powerful, loving and harmoniously happy.”

This a mantra that I recommend, but, really, anything will do, so long as it inspires you, and points you in the direction of a more useful paradigm.

When taking on a mantra, notice how it plays on your mind.  When you tell yourself that you are “harmoniously happy,” what pops up in your mind?  If you are like me, your first reaction would be, “This is crazy talk,” or, “this is just plain silly: I don’t feel harmonious.” Feel this resistance in your mind.  It indicates that you have a paradigm dominating your life that over-rides this positive image of yourself.  This is not a problem. It is perfectly natural to feel residence to a mantra at first, given your current programming.

Repeat your manta often, and let it sink in.  This is the sort of good daily habit that will help you get past your past. Consistency counts. Pick a time of day, and recite your mantra regularly at that time.  Do it like clockwork.

Treasure mapping

I often recommend Treasure Maps to clients.  I used them my self in my recovery, and still use them today.  They are constant reminders that work to keep us on track, to help build good habits. I found them to be extremely helpful in keeping me motivated. A treasure map can be anything, any image that indicates a long-term goal in your recovery.  I would cut pictures out of magazines, and mount them in places where I would see them.  I had pictures of skiers stuck on the fridge door.  Objects are good too.  Right now I have a little plastic toy in the shape of a log cabin on my desk.  In the last couple of years, I have been dreaming about a luxury log cabin in the woods.  The toy cabin often catches my eye, and reminds me of my dream every day.   The image you choose for your treasure should have a strong draw for you, and represent the qualities of a good life

Make a list of 100 wins

For clients who are feeling very low in self-esteem, I recommend making a list of 100 wins.  They could be anything, like, learning to read, or getting out of bed when you really didn’t want to face the day.  They could be learning to drive, surviving an accident, going on a work-out routine, getting a degree, or asking someone you care about out on a date, even though there was a chance that they would turn you down.  The point of this exercise is to show yourself that you are winning all the time.  It is your paradigm that says you are losing.  This exercise can be repeated often, and, in the process, you might find yourself recalling wins from your life that you had chosen to forget, in order to justify your paradigms’ assertion that you are always losing. 

The Awareness Exercise.

Take some time out of your day to pay very close attention to your thoughts. It can be an hour, or ten minutes.  Go to a quiet place and really listen to your thoughts. What’s going on in there?  Are you angry?  Are you blurting out angry thoughts to your self?  What is the source of this anger?  Are you finding that you drop into moments of self-hatred?  Are you constantly criticizing yourself?  What are the words you use on yourself?  Are these the things you would say to a friend?  The awareness exercise is designed to help you become more alert to how your negative paradigm is constantly re-enforcing itself, even when you are not aware of it.  It’s hidden from view, in the corner of your mind, just cooking away.  Taking a few moments to be absolutely present is a step in taking control of these self-defeating impulses.  Don’t punish yourself for having negative thoughts about yourself.  Simply note them and declare to yourself that they are not true.  Take a moment to repeat your mantra at that time.  Eventually you will find that catching negative impulses will be simple and easy to do