What is going to work for you?

We are more magnificent then we really know …
it is our power and brightness (that) we are afraid of,
not our weaknesses.
- Maryanne Williamson                     

If you are reading this book, then chances are, you, or someone you love is struggling with a recovery, and you have turned to this book in the hopes of uncovering some answers. 

I wrote this book to help people like you.  But whether or not it will help is really up to you.

My understanding of recovery, the pain, the sorrows, the victories and the deep spirituality that one discovers on this journey, started with a near fatal accident on a drizzling summer night when I was hit by a drunk driver on a near-empty street.  I went through all the standard phases of recovery, both mentally an physically, and learned a lot about what is possible for all people if they are ready to do the work that will make them free again. 

My complete recovery was a seven year process that took me from being bedridden, to using a wheel chair, to walking with a cane, to eventually running a mini triathlon.  And in that time, I must have read every single book, taken every course and seminar, signed up for every transformational retreat or self-help program under the sun, just looking to find a system that would give me the juice to finally walk again, and then to run.  One of the things I discovered was that many methods for helping those in recovery overlap, both with other recovery systems, and also with the philosophies of self-fulfillment and personal growth, as well as methods for dealing with addiction, and for dealing with death and dying.  In the broadest terms, we are all on the same path.  We are all trying to make sense out of life on this crazy planet, where there is so much suffering and yet so much beauty, where there is so much injustice and inequity, and yet, so much love, so much goodness to make us keep on choosing life.  

There are people in this world, parents mostly, who want to shelter their loved ones from the pain and suffering that is inherent in life.   But if you are reading this book, then you, or someone you know has been thrust into a circumstance where they cannot possibly hide from pain.  In fact, you, or someone you know, is, right now, experiencing more pain then they ever imagined.  But there is a way out of their suffering, even if it takes a long time and a great deal of effort.  Suffering can be met bravely, and conquered. Beyond suffering is a new life where there is insight that which is impossible for people who have been sheltered from harshness and pain to acquire.  In this sense, recovery is a spiritual journey, and cannot be described or measured in conventional terms. 

But, precisely because it is spiritual, and therefore difficult to implement and measure, opinions about what to do in recovery can just as easily collide and contradict as they can overlap and validate each other.  You are going to hear some conflicting advice on this journey, and some incompatible, even irreconcilable world-views, as you discuss your recovery with other people.  In the end you will have to make your own way, stand by your own decisions and pick and choose whose advice you are going to take.  It is your life, and your choice.  In the end, you have to decide what is going to work for you.
As you are confronted by all of the options on how to manage your recovery, I would like you to please consider one suggestion from me, one particular criterion as to how to choose what will be your path.  My suggestion is this: whatever point of view you choose, choose one that empowers you.  Even if everyone else says you are crazy, still, hold tight to the belief that gives you power.  If you want to believe that God answers prayers, even if the answer is sometimes “No,” and that belief gives you the power to face another grueling day of thankless recovery, then, by all means, believe it with all your heart.   If you believe that there is no God, but that you have Free Will, and you can choose to be great, then, by all means embrace that belief!  But, if you should decide to succumb to negativity and smallness, if you decide to believe that there is no hope, that life is not worth the struggle, then please admit to yourself that this belief does not empower you, but actually throws your power to recover into the void.  Then, when you see that such views will get you nowhere, that they are a betrayal of yourself, your recovery and all that you can be, take a deep breath and choose again. 

I sincerely hope that his book aids you in choosing powerfully.  That is my intention.  But, however well intentioned this book may be, it is still your choice that will make the difference.   Choose wisely, and go with what works.